1 Peter 3:1-7

This is an interesting and a challenging passage for today. Words like submission do not go down very well in 21st century western culture especially in relation to how women relate to men. And yet we have this passage in the bible and if we are bible believing Christians who understand that God’s word is a word not just for the time in which it was written but also for today, then we cannot cut this page out of our bibles as some may be tempted to do.

This passage is actually a good one to apply some basic rules of biblical interpretation and we can use it as an opportunity to see in practice how to read and study the bible today. Can I use five C’s to look at the passage – controversy, culture, context, comparison, and contemporary application.

1.Controversy

For many this will be a controversial passage because it speaks  of submission and in our culture we find that we have female Prime Ministers, MP’s, Dr’s, lawyers, judges, industry bosses and so on – ladies who are in positions of influence and power and authority. Within marriages also over the years we have seen a more egalitarian approach and our culture is less patriarchal and male controlled than the days when Peter wrote this letter (although some would argue that our society is still pretty much male dominated and controlled).  

But it is still a controversial passage and sometimes we find the bible saying things that seem out of step with the world and it causes us to pause and think through do I actually believe that? One of the things of course we must realise is that if we do take the bible seriously it will inevitably clash with the way the world thinks. The bible tells us that the normal way the world thinks is often wrong and at variance to God’s best for us. The Bible will often set a different value and a different standard to the word and so we should not be surprised if there is a clash of worldviews, we should actually be more surprised if the world behaves in the way the bible suggests.

The Christian way of life is sometimes counter-cultural and we should almost expect this in all aspects of our lives. Do not unthinkingly embrace the values and practices of the world. Jesus often challenges the world’s assumptions, he came to establish the upside-down kingdom.

So we have here a controversial passage but if we are sincere Christians we must look seriously at this passage and what it would say to us today.  But before we get into that we need to look at the culture in which it was written.

2. Culture

The culture of Peter’s day was heavily patriarchal.  Women did not have votes. The father of the home had legal authority. It was also the father’s duty to guard the welfare of those under his authority - wife, children, slaves - and it was their duty in turn to show him total obedience and deference.  Women usually did not receive any formal education except in domestic matters. In contrast to what we call the nuclear family, the ancient household consisted of father, mother, children, slaves, unmarried relations, extended family. Sometimes brothers with their families lived under the same roof. Such a large group needed some kind of ordering and the accepted pattern was that all came under the authority of the father of the house. The Romans encouraged this and saw it as necessary for the good running of homes and of society.

The Romans and the Greeks viewed Christianity suspiciously and as a threat to the family especially with the thinking of Gal.3:28 which says that in Christ all are one and equal, men, women, Greek, Jew, slave or free. This could be viewed as a threat to the clearly defined roles and order of the Roman family.  They were suspicious of new religions which could undermine traditional ways of thinking and threatened family and the State, so the wife was meant to have the same beliefs as the husband.    At its most extreme wives could be considered almost as a chattel or possession.

Now Christianity took a more exalted view of women and Jesus included them in his teaching and as his followers. He took time with them, explained things to them, first appeared after his resurrection to them. This is the culture in which Peter was writing and women were gaining an equality and an importance in Christian teaching that had not existed before. And yet even with this Peter still calls the wives to be submissive to their husbands. Was this just to follow the ways of the culture so as not to upset people, or was there more to it? Was he just saying - look wives who are married to unbelievers you need to follow the standard rules of family life here – do not rock the boat, or was it this and more? Was there a theological reason as well as a practical, cultural reason for such submission?

3. Context

 Well this is where we have to start asking the context question. Is Peter laying down a theological principle that applies to all men and women, does it only apply to women married to unbelievers, and does it apply to today? These are important questions and now that we have seen the culture to which Peter was writing we now have to look at the context of the passage as we try and answer these questions.

 We note that this portion is written in the context of a passage on submission. Peter has already looked at all Christians submitting to the ruling authorities for they have been put in that place of authority by God. He has looked at slaves or servants submitting to their employers and now he is looking at the home and says there is an order here. We get the impression from the context that this is a God ordained order that does not apply just to a specific time. Peter seems to be relying on creational principles, an order that God intended from the beginning of human civilisation and the fact that a person becomes a Christian does not affect this ordering – if anything it emphasises it.  He seems to be emphasising the overall principle of submission that God intends as we order our human lives in the basic building blocks of society – state, work and family.

So in v.1 of ch.3 where Peter refers to “in the same way” he means wives, submit in the same way as we are meant to submit to governing authority, in the same way as servants submit to employers; so, in the same way wives submit to husbands. It is an authority issue, not an equality issue. It is not questioning the equality of men and women, nor of husbands and wives. We are equal, of equal value, dignity and honour. It is about the ordering of society on an authority or role basis.  So God is setting a framework in place of how we submit to authority in various authority roles – state and individual, employer and servant, husband and wife.

Note also in the context that the submission of the woman to the man is in the context of marriage, not life in general. Therefore where a prime minister or governor or judge is female, then we who are men must submit to that leadership and authority role. Peter here is dealing specifically with husbands and wives and how they relate, not how men and women relate in general.   Women in general are not called to be submissive to men. That is not what Peter is saying here.

So as we look at the context we see that Peter is suggesting there are different roles in society and we must submit to certain people in positions of authority. He is saying that husband and wife are one of those relationships in which submission is relevant, and also note that here he is dealing with a wife who is married to an unbelieving husband.  Is he saying that this kind of submission only occurs between a believing wife and an unbelieving husband – no, because he uses as his example Sarah and Abraham who were both believers and Sarah as  a believing wife still submitted to her believing husband. What I think Peter would say is that that that submission should be even more clear where an unbeliever is concerned because you are trying to win him over. Don’t flaunt your independence and freedom in Christ in such a way that it drives him further away from the Lord. No, be submissive, unless he specifically asks you to do something that God forbids  in the bible.

4. Comparison

The other thing that we need to do with such passages is compare them with other parts of the bible to see if this teaching is consistent with them. What Peter says here is consistent with what Paul says in Eph.5:22-24, Col. 3:18 and in 1 Tim.2:11. The weight of these passages put together suggests that the word of God says that wives should submit to their husbands – this was the intention of God from the beginning. It is not just a cultural requirement but a creational mandate and we cannot ignore this no matter what our culture may think about the role of husbands and wives. (I go into much more detail on this in a parallel passage in the Colossians series I preached on last year).

    When we put all this together we see that Peter is encouraging the believing wives to live in a submissive way, in a winsome way, so that their husbands might be won over. Don’t wear him down by preaching at him or scolding him - not with words - but with winsome behaviour, with pure and reverent lives.

He says further that you want to impress more by the inner beauty and character of your life rather than  outward adornments. He is not saying that women should not dress attractively – some versions say “Your adornment must not be merely external” – acknowledging that there will be some adorning. But again as Christians we must be wary of emphasising what the world emphasises. We live in a time when the externals are greatly emphasised and young ladies (and increasingly young men!) seem to spend an awful lot of time and money on the externals. As Christians who want to be serious about our faith we should probably dress more simply than the world and spend more time cultivating the inner beauty. This impresses God and also Peter says it will impress our unbelieving husbands more than a fake tan or a pair of Gucci shoes.

    Again in the culture of the day many ladies were into elaborate hairstyles and expensive jewellery. Not much changes – but the Christian women has different priorities. Are we investing in character or clothes, inner beauty or outward show, gentleness and modesty or loudness and brashness.   Is the bible our guide or Hello, or Vogue? CJ Mahaney asks “Are your role models the godly women of scripture or the worldly women of our culture”.

In our media dominated culture we can be influenced to have the latest styles and fashions and we can become obsessive about such things. But should this be the primary interest of the Christian women (or man for that matter). Surely we need to be devoted to nurturing the inner person.

In 1 Timothy Paul talks about women adorning themselves with what is proper for women who profess godliness – good works.  Are we noted for our wardrobe or our good works – an observable lifestyle of serving others? There is a place for shopping – but don’t let it squeeze out serving.

     And finally for the men we note in v.7  a challenge to us. Are we considerate and respectful of our wives. When Peter speaks of the wives as the weaker partner again he does not mean morally or spiritually weaker. It is a fact that women are physically weaker and this physical weakness has inexcusably over the years led to bullying, intimidation and abuse of women by men. Now some men have been bullied by women but it is far outweighed the other way. The Christian faith has always been in the forefront of the protection of the weaker in society, women and children. Men, are we treating our wives with respect, are we honouring them and loving them as Christ did for the church giving up his life for her? This is what we are called to.

5. Contemporary application

So as we close we need to ask how we can apply this passage to ourselves today. We live in a more equal society than Peter or Paul did. Women are more often in positions of authority in our culture and that is fine. But when it comes to the family God says that we have differing roles. The submission idea for many will not be an issue. Many husbands and wives will work through issues and decisions jointly and mutually and I think that is the way it should be. Sometimes a decision may have to be taken and the husband as leader needs to make that call and take the responsibility, that is what the bible teaches and if society chooses to go another way then we have to stick with the bible, out of step as it may be seen to be.

    We have women in our church who are married to men who are unbelievers or folks who are uninterested in church or spiritual matters, and we have men who have wives who are uninterested. This is a real issue in the church today. Some of you before me are keeping God at arms length and your partners are praying for you. You need to be fully convinced in your own mind, you need to see the reality of Jesus in your wife or husband’s life. There is nothing as powerful as a marriage which is built on the common ground of the gospel and the cross of Jesus Christ.

With every wedding I conduct I say that the best marriages will be those where Christ is involved. It is like a triangle – man, woman and God at the top of the triangle. As we move closer to God we move closer to each other. A God honouring marriage is an amazing thing. Can I encourage those of you who are holding back from God to submit your life to Him and as you do that you will find that it takes your marriage relationship into a whole deeper level of love, of understanding, of intimacy.

Next weekend Kay and I will be returning to the area where we honeymooned 20 years ago. We go back with a stronger love, a stronger faith and a stronger commitment to each other and God has strengthened our marriage through some tough times. It would have been much more difficult if we had not shared that common faith and love for Jesus; this has enriched our lives and guided s through good times and bad times. Can I encourage you to look to the one who died for you, who loves you and who wants the best for you.  

When this happens as Peter says “nothing will hinder your prayers” and you will be drawn to a wonderful unity in him that will bring joy and delight to you, to your church and to your community and God will be honoured as we live for him.

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